Everyone Should Have A Picture Of Their Boob Smooshed Against The Bicep Of A New Kid On The Block

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Hear that?  That’s me exhaling after the BEST girls’ weekend EVER.  Let me show you it.

Our adventure began at 9:00 pm on Thursday night.  After getting all the kiddies to bed, we loaded up and shipped out to drive to Atlantic City.  Excited as we were, no one slept AT ALL for the ride up there.  We knew we were close when we crossed over Walt Whitman Bridge from Philly:

Mawm, that may or may not say 74 miles per hour.  GOTTA be a typo.  Heh.  I SWEAR we were just going with the flow of, er, traffic.  Invisible traffic.

OK, fine.  Adrenaline kicked into high gear when we saw the sign and we may have “WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!”-ed our way to 74 mph.

ANYWHO.

8 hours of riding and 24 straight hours of being awake and we were graced with this:

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We get to our hotel, the ultra-luxurious Borgata, where the VALET took our car.  VALET.  We were Important, hear?

One step in the door and we see this:

Blown glass chandeliers!  Amazing!  Jen and Michele were intent on bed, but I couldn’t stop looking at the artwork! and glass! and mirrors!

And then I REALLY looked in the mirror and decided it was time to go up to the room before I started scaring small children and got kicked out before I even got in.

We got the minimal 5 hours of sleep then we were back up to begin our fun.  We got all prettied up and ready for the concert.

Hot Mamas, I tell you!  (I’d like to add that we were minus one hot-mama-to-be.  She was too close to due date to join the fun and she was GREATLY missed.  We love you, Amy!)

Then?  The Concert.  And Wine.

 And Wine.  And The Concert.

And more Wine.  I think.

Good show.  Goooooooooooooood show.

THEN?  The Afterparty.

Did you know they have wine at afterparties?  WELL.  They do.  A lot of it.

They also have DONNIE WAHLBERG.  After bulldozing several unsuspecting women, I managed to get Jen to the top of a couch that sat against the stair railing as Donnie climbed by.  He stroked her face.  For those of you who don’t have your number in her Blackberry or are her Friend on Facebook or don’t read your Twitter feed, he STROKED HER FACE, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best day of her life.  All thanks to me.  Just call me Dozer.

Fast forward to the next day.  Things are a little fuzzy between that last picture and this next one.  Oh, this next one.  Are you ready for this next one?  Ladies, please hold onto your britches, cuz they might try to fly off.

Why, yes, that is DANNY FREAKING WOOD.  And yes, I HAVE NO MAKEUP ON.  And yes, my hair is WET.  And, oh how clever of you to notice that I’m WEARING SWEATPANTS.

God was totally punishing me for the wine gluttony.  Totally.  Punishing.  Me.

He was straight out of the gym.  And beautiful.  Sweaty, muscley and beautiful.

And HIS BICEP WAS PRESSED AGAINST MY BOOB.

Go ahead, look again.  I’ll wait.

*****

SEE?!

When I regained use of my legs again, the girls and I made our way into the spa where I got my first massage ever.

Lemme tell ya somethin’.

Massage = Heaven.  With cupcakes.  Or, ya know, a juice bar and some dried mango.

And DANNY FREAKING WOOD.

Later we laid in the steam room and soaked in the hot tub.

*SIGH*

After a delightful dinner at Wolfgang Puck’s American Grille, which included Expresso Martinis that may be our new infatuation, we went to the SECOND afterparty.  Where all my dreams came true.

That guy on the left?  That’s Jon.  JONATHAN RASHLEIGH KNIGHT.

LOOKING AT ME.

Later in the night, as he was leaving, I touched him.

MAWM!  I TOUCHED HIM!!!!!!

Chris is slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m not showering for a year.

That’s 3 close encounters!  Donnie first, then Danny, then Jon.

Our 4th came on Sunday as were were waiting (in the wrong place, luckily) for VALET to bring us our truck back.

Joe, his wife and two little boys were getting into the limo to head out.  10 feet in front of us.

THAT’S FOUR!!!!!!!!

We missed only one – Jordan.  Michele’s favorite.  Therefore, it is our solemn mission to meet Jordan on our next cavortcation.  There will be pictures.

So, in summary, we had an awesome trip.  And we may have done the Jersey fist-pump a few times on the way home.  Out the window.  To the tune of NKOTB’s Dirty Dancing.

We may have fist-pumped right into the driveway.

It was awesome.

I shall share more with you tomorrow.  These pics are just a few of the ones taken on my Blackberry.  There are 197 more on my camera!  WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s some leftover wine in my fridge at home that needs my prompt attention.

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