Hot Topics Friday……On Monday

So Friday was like a Monday, so I’m toasting a spiked Sierra Mist to a Monday that’s more like a Friday!

TOP STORY: THE TWISSION

Alright, Folks. We’re on Day 10 of The Twission with nothing to report but an apparently gratuitous picture of Jonathan Knight’s buttocks that I can’t see because of the stoopid server blocks that don’t allow me to access streaming media, proxies, personals or adult/explicit material. Takes all the dern fun out of my workday. I am, however, getting better at witty remarks that can be truncated to 140 characters or less. I’ll get ‘im! Whether I pique his curiousity with my inquisitive wit or scare him into a cross-country restraining order, I’ll get ‘im!

After all, Einstein said it best: “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than everyone else.” I got my shoulder pads and shin guards on. Bring. It.

MAMA’S COMING FOR CHRISTMAS!

For a whole week! MAWM will be crossing that scary Mason-Dixon line to grace the Carter household with her presence and be Santa’s Helper in all things Christmastime and Muscadine. Cuz the only thing better than a Turkey Breast from The Honeybaked Ham Store at the holidays is you and your mom drinking wine ’til the wee hours of the morning, waiting to catch Santa coming down the chimney so you can goose him and run.

NEW MOON, OMG

We haven’t seen it yet. We’re holding out. We didn’t want to be immersed in screaming teenyboppers and frenzied screen-licking, so we’re holding out for a week. Little did we know – okay, we totally knew – that it would take God and a small stink-bomb to ward off all the spoilers that are friends, critics and news reports before we could see it. We are currently holding our hands over our ears, chanting “lalalalalalalaIcan’thearyoulalalalalalala”. In the meantime, I’ve prepared by stockpiling about 20 bibs to catch the drool. Now I just need to find some for Jen and Amy and Michele……..

This has taught us one very important lesson, though. We will be seeing the midnight showing of Eclipse come June. Gotta get our screen-licks in before everybody else. Cuz, well, germs, duh.

KATE HUDSON AT THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS

I love Kate Hudson. But. Did anyone see the almost-nip-slip from Kate Hudson on Sunday’s AMA’s? Cuz I did. And I’m a little confused. Either she has no boobies – and no nippies – or her boob grew somewhere around her armpit. The whole time she was talking I was waiting for it…….waiting for it……..waiting for it……..should have seen it…….but……nothing. It’s like it’s not there.