A List Of My Blessings – Which Don’t Include Money – So Send Some If You Want To

Turkey Day, Turkey Day

Full O’ Pie And Yams And Beans

I Shall Stuff My Pretty Face

‘Til I Can’t Zip My Jeans

By: Liz

 

I lovelovelove the holidays.  They have always meant more to me than just food and presents.  OK, that’s a lie.  They have always meant more to me than just presents.

Every year, I’ve been blessed to have a huge family, whether the one I was born into or the one I’ve made for myself, to celebrate with and reflect with on all the things for which we are thankful.  It goes without saying, though Thanksgiving is about saying, that I’m so very grateful for my health, happiness, husband, children, parents, siblings, friends and pets.  All of them make my life worth living each and every single day.  Without them, my universe simply does not thrive and I do count these precious blessings on more than one occasion every year.  I count them every day.  I’m grateful for the many opportunities, both personally and professionally, that I’ve been given and an humbled by the love that I receive from every angle, everywhere I turn.

That said, here are some things that I don’t give thanks for every day, but that contribute to the thriving of said universe:

  • Coffee.  Sweet nectar of life.  I rejected you so many times in my youth, yet you persisted.  You are there when I need you, never let me down and are seldom weak.  Unless Chris makes you.  Then you need an extra scoop in the filter.  If he can’t handle the heat, he needs to get out of the kitchen.  Amen.
  • Size 12 jeans.  You are the most faithful friend I’ve ever had.  Even when I’ve left you stranded in the closet for, oh, a couple years.  Or four.  Please understand that I’m not ignoring you.  In fact, I’d love nothing more than to reacquaint my waist, ass and thighs with your lovely, devotional comeradery.  I know you believe in me.  You stare at me, longingly, every morning.  Waiting.  I’ll come back for you.  I promise.
  • Twilight.  Oh, the passion we share, you and I.  You take me to another world when I need it the most.  You hold your grasp on me, even when the children are screaming and the house is on fire.  Your intense grip on my heart is blinding sometimes.  When I’m with you, I see nothing else.  Not even the smoke pouring out of the oven.
  • Jonathan Knight.  RAWR.
  •  Restraint.  You’ve taught me a very important lesson over the past year.  Without you, there would be one less self-absorbed, brash, arrogant, woe-is-me Receptionist Secretary at the office.  And one less Human Resource Manager.
  • Autumn.  You brought me to my happy place, Sweat Pants, and rescued me from the deep, dark enemy, Bathing Suits.
  • Smirnoff Green Apple Vodka.  When we’re together, I’m suddenly skinny, fit and ready to run a marathon.  You inspire me.
  •  WalMart.  What would I do without you?  If it weren’t for your steadfast presence, I would have to drive to four different stores for all my household wants and needs.  And how could I turn my back on something that provides me endless entertainment in the form of half-dressed fat girls in denial and old men in go-go boots, thongs and black mesh tops?
  • Harnett County School Bus Number 327.  You keep my blood pumping.  Every. Single. Morning.
  •  Post-It Notes.  When all else fails, you are there to adorn my walls, desk, computer, notebook, lampshade, chair, peanut container, phone, paperclip holder and bottle of Germ-X in bright, colorful cheeriness.  You’re more than just office decor.  You’re like wallpaper with phone numbers.
  • “Getting To Know Your Friends” Chain Emails.  Because not only do I know what all my friends had for breakfast this morning, but I also know what color of crayon they aspire to be.

Here’s wishing everyone a safe, happy Thanksgiving.  And a belly that’s about to explode.  And don’t forget the little things in life when you’re going around the table listing all the things you’re grateful for.  I know I won’t!

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One response to “A List Of My Blessings – Which Don’t Include Money – So Send Some If You Want To

  1. Happy Thanksgiving, Punkin!! I wish I could feel my jeans tighten at your table, but Christmas is coming!! I wub you!!

    P.S. — it’s “camaraderie” not “comeradery” 🙂

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