Boy, this “regular posting on Friday” thing is really going well……..
TOP STORY: I MIGHT BE A WEINER
My favorite city girl rancher wild horses socialite EVAR, Ree Drummond a.k.a. The Pioneer Woman, has been giving away some uber-awesome tidbits over the past couple weeks that have had my mouth salivating at cow-chewing-cud levels. And if you don’t know who I’m talking about, then you need some serious overhauls on your outlook on true love, cooking, Basset Hounds and calf nuts. Seriously.
First, it was the RED KitchenAid mixer. I didn’t win it. Then it was the Nikon CoolPix. I didn’t win it either.
Now, if you know anything about me or my life, then you know that either one of these would have MADE. MY. YEAR. Especially that awesome KitchenAid mixer. Did I mention it was RED? YES, RED! (Cuz The Cakery cakes taste soooo much better when made with a RED mixer.) I don’t know what it is about me or my mother, but WE LOVE RED STUFF IN OUR KITCHENS. And in my case, black or stainless steel. Mind you, red doesn’t exactly match my Tuscan winery look I’m going for, but I love red kitchen appliances nonetheless. One day I will have a black, red and white kitchen and it will be FABULOUS. Complete with that hip black/white checkered linoleum that takes it to that 50’s diner-esque world that encompasses all things fried and greasy.
My cup of tea here, people.
THEN the Nikon CoolPix. My husband brought his work camera home (that just so happens to be a Nikon CoolPix) and I fell in lurve. It puts my Canon PowerShot to shame. This camera is all HD and ZOOM and BOOYAH I SEE THAT BOOGER FROM OVER HERE! and I might want to hide it so he can’t take it back to work.
So, as I was saying, I didn’t win either one. Poo. But I know she’ll have even more awesome giveaways in the near future and I, for one, will be all over that mess like white on rice on a paper plate in a snowstorm. Also, calf nuts. So, yeah.
IT’S DECEMBER……LIKE, CHRISTMAS IS IN TWO WEEKS…………..DID YOU KNOW THAT?
So I’m not at all the type to do early Christmas shopping. In fact, I love the urgency of shopping mere days before Santa graces my chimney. However, it just occured to me that it is approximately 17 days before Christmas and I haven’t so much as ordered Christmas cards. (I know I never send Christmas cards, but it was totally on my 2009 New Year’s Resolution List so I have to at least do it so that the WHOLE list didn’t go to shit. I need at least ONE thing to get done. I didn’t lose weight, I didn’t write, stamp and send thank you notes, I didn’t quit cussing and I forgot that I was trying to be all glass-is-half-full about things like toddler temper tantrums, dog poo in the carpet and kid poo in the……..carpet.) I haven’t bought the first present. (In fact, I still have my mom’s Christmas present from LAST year because I held it hostage in an attempt to lure her below that aforementioned Mason Dixon line.) I’ve not even planned my baking list and that’s bad. Because all my gifts to coworkers this year are supposed to be baked. Says me. And my 2009 New Year’s Resolution List. Oh, and the bank. Cuz the money you were supposed to send? Is missing. Send more.
Crap. I’m gonna have to consume a lot of wine in order to complete that list. Crap.
MATT LEFT FOR AFGHANISTAN
Who is Matt, you ask? Matt is Jen’s husband. Matt is an Army platoon Sergeant. Matt is obsessed with his yard. I”ve seen Matt edge out his front sidewalk on his hands and knees with a small handheld garden spade. Matt is dedicated to grass. His grass. Do. not. walk. on. the. grass.
Matt is also brave. And courageous. And fighting for our freedom. So say a prayer. For him, while he’s defending our country and for his safe return. And for me and Eddie, Amy’s husband, when Matt comes home in July to find “Welcome Home” sprayed into his yard with RoundUp. :0)
CHRISTMAS IS IN, LIKE, TWO WEEKS!
Did you realize that?
Be not disheartened. I shall crack him. He will respond. I will be relentless. (insert “Eye Of The Tiger” here)
If you don’t hear from me for a few weeks days, don’t worry. I’m probably 6 bottles of Zinfandel in and trying to bake peanut butter balls. With hershey kisses in them. For Christmas. THAT’S IN TWO WEEKS.
HO HO HO!