Livin’ La Vida Loca

What?

I said I’d post at least once a month!

I know.  I’m beating my head on the wall from the guilt.

Not really.  I don’t have time for head-on-wall hate.  If you read my last post (ya know, the one about a month ago.  Ha!  Heh. He. Ugh.), you’d know what I’m talking about.

ANYWHO.

Lots of stuff happens in a month.  Let me catch you up on it.

**********

The Cold.  The Sinus Infection.  The Respiratory Inflammation.  The allergies.  The Whatever It Is, It WON’T LEAVE.  We’ve had it for, oh, along the lines of A MONTH.  The whole “one gets it and we all get it” concept.

It’s really very lovely.

Despite the Crud Of All Cruds, life has gone on.  We have new neighbors who are so much better for our neighborhood than The Last Ones.  The Last Ones were young, military and high.  All the time.  Very high.  Just.  High.  We live in a nice neighborhood.  I mean, we’re not talking Real Housewives Of Atlanta nice.  But The Brady Bunch kind of nice.  Calm.  Relaxed.  Everybody knows everybody.  And what they drive.  And how many dogs they have.  And whether or not they get high.  Which isn’t such a hard thing to conclude when you plainly SMOKE YOUR BLUNT ON THE FRONT PORCH.  But, whatever.  Whatever floats your boat.  Or, ya know, makes it feel like it’s being orbited into space. 

So The New Ones are here.  With kids!  Two girls!  Ages 1 and 4!  Playmates!  YES!

I’m a little excited about it.

**********

Our first big birthday bash is next weekend.  My precious little girl turns 1 year old tomorrow.  That’s right, it’s been a whole year.  A year since I was sliced open for the second time.  A year since the fear of the spinal block faded into unbounded joy at the sight and sound of my healthy little Madelynn.  A year since I laid in bed while nurses and doctors brought me food and juice and clean bedsheets and came to take my child for a bit so I could s……sl……slee……what’s it called again?

Sleep?

Are you sure that’s how you spell it?

Oh.  You mean like this?  ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

Right.  Yeah.  Mmmkay.

ANYWHO.  Along with the 1st milestone of my youngest, we celebrate the 3rd of my oldest.  Boy do they get a sense of humor between 2 and 3.

I recently got a Blackberry and downloaded some uber cool ringtones.  Well, okay.  Maybe not uber cool.  Unless you have small children.  Cuz my normal ringtone is “The Phone Is Ringing” by The Wonder Pets and my text alert is “We Just Got A Letter” from Blue’s Clues.

What?

I said unless you have small children.  Cuz then if you do, I am a ROCKSTAR.

ANYWHO.  I received a text the other night, which signals the “We Just Got A Letter” alert and all of sudden, Meredith comes ass over tincups around the corner screaming, “Steve!  Steve!”  She runs to my phone, puts it to her ear and yells, “Steve!  Hey, Steve!  You got a letter, Steve?!”

ROFLMFAO.  Seriously.

And don’t try to pick a booger in the Carter household.

“No, Mommy.  Das NASTY!”

Or fart.

“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, Daddy! You fawted!”

But love is always welcomed with, “Wannooo nuggle me?”

*sigh*

*melting*

*************

The Blackberry I mentioned?

Addicted.

MP3, Internet, Slacker Radio, FACEBOOK.

FACEBOOK.

FACEBOOK.

No, like, really.  It’s programmed so that ONE TOUCH OF A BUTTON puts you in CYBER HEAVEN where EVERYONE ON THE PLANET WHO MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW YOU can see “what’s on your mind.”

FACEBOOK.

If I wasn’t already married to Chris, I would marry my Blackberry.  I don’t know what I did before I had it.  Sit at the *gasp* computer?!

************

The weight loss is going slow but steady.  13 pounds down.  Check out the updates over on Elliptilogues.  I’m thoroughly disappointed that I haven’t dropped to a size 8 in 2 months, but I guess there’s, ya know, WORK involved that takes some, uh, TIME.

Perhaps because it took multiple years and even more multiples of Double Quarter Pounders With Cheese Without Pickles Or Onions to get to where I was.

Was.

Not am.

A little something to be proud of!

*************

Atlantic City.  NKOTB.  Luxury hotel.  Massages.  Room Service.

73 more days.

Er, something close to that cuz I wouldn’t be ACTUALLY counting that far in advance!  HA!  Ha!  Heh!  He.  Eh…….

***********

I promise I’ll post more often.  I promise.  Like, maybe in three weeks instead of a month!

Nah, just kiddin’.

Two weeks.

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