So 2011 is looking to be a pretty good year, so far. I mean I know we’re only, like, 9.6% of the way through it but I’ll take 9.6% of good, especially if it’s at the beginning because that just HAS to mean that the other 90.4% won’t be all that bad, right?
I mean, there was that brief period of panicked uncertainty when our W-2s didn’t make it to our mailbox by January 25th like they have every other year for the last decade. But then I was cheerfully reminded that the law gives them until the 31st to have them postmarked. So. Really, it could be the first week of February before we get them. Lovely.
FTR, they came on the 31st at 11:30 and I had our taxes submitted by 3:00. Government sendz me moneyz, for the win.
(Although, is it just me, or does everybody see that gross earnings number and think that Uncle Sam had to have added a few grand to that, cuz there’s just no way. Conspiracy!) (And then you remember the Coach bag purchase, the new car, the gymnastics classes and the fact that you pay more monthly fees for daycare than you do for your house and you’re all YEAH I GUESS THAT’S ABOUT RIGHT. Fuckers.)
The thing is, analyzing our financial statements and having our tax preparation software ask me random questions about our life events has made me think. Why is it that you spend your whole teenage life of cooked meals, laundry service and chauffeured car rides wishing for freedom? Your own house, your own car, your own life. And then it happens, only to have you realize that you have responsibilities and bills and then you have children which means more responsibilities, more bills and, OH! LIVES that depend on YOU to SUSTAIN THEM.
PARENTS SHOULD TELL YOU THIS SHIT.
All this is to say that I wish I could win the lottery, open my own cake shoppe and hire someone to pay my bills for me so that I can live in my little fantasy world where the clouds are made of buttercream, the streets are paved in fondant and money can be printed on edible paper.
And daycare is free. And run by the local Bouncy House. Where the children expel every ounce of energy so all they want to do when they get home is eat a sensible dinner that includes vegetables (that they will devour because that’s just what children do), watch the evening news cuddled on Mama’s lap, then retire to bed at 7:00 with a good book and their inside voices.
Anyway, we’re taking a break from these responsibilities and going to the circus on Sunday. This will be a first for my girls, though Chris and I have enjoyed the circus together in the past, just the two of us. I’m excited about it.
One word: REVENUE.
Haha! Just kidding! Haha! Ha! Heh. Eh…………….